poisonpam:

poisonpam:

poisonpam:

it’s ‘thinking about luther speaking up for vanya at ben’s funeral’ hours

#it fascinates me to no end #how these kids were probably more drawn towards including her #(because that’s what kids do! they want to talk and play and shit with each other) #but were also /taught/ not to #i mean if allison rumored vanya when they were four #that is four years she was just as much part of the group as the others #and yes four is incredibly young but that’s still an incredibly deep bond #the fact that reginald led them by example when it came to ignoring vanya #wait were am i going with this lmao #just #gosh my thoughts got away from me i just mean to say that #it’s probably instinctive (especially for someone like luther who sees himself #responsible for his siblings) #to speak up for her when diego tells her she can’t possibly know whether they’re #at fault for ben’s death cause she wasn’t there and she leaves crying #jesus this isn’t even english my brain’s mush today but gosh are you guys following me? #i know i went on like five different tangents but the point is…… #the contrast between that scene of him speaking up for her and him locking her up AND THEN apologizing to her in the barn #f*ck!!! bottom line of this: luther hargreeves?

listen what i mean to say is this: luther hargreeves is a protector, of course all the hargreeves siblings seem to be in one way or another (be it because they literally grew up and were moulded to be superheroes or simply because it’s the type of people they are). but luther specifically feels the responsibility -and pressure- of making sure his family is 100% okay** because his number means something. it’s not even left up for interpretation, it’s not a bunch of kids assuming they’re being rated, reginald spells it out for them. so luther is #1, luther is the leader and leaders don’t only get to choose they get the blame if something goes/is wrong. and reginald doesn’t give a fuck but luther being luther he would consider his siblings’ emotional wellbeing too when considering if something is wrong or not. and yes, we get enough flashbacks to understand that the way they’re raised makes them prioritize their own interests and wellbeing first, above all else, because they’re just kids trying to survive and again reginald leads by example when it comes to the lack of love and support he shows them but still, still!!!! we know how important his role is to luther, how he probably tried to shape it into his own definition instead of being just another reginald, a ‘team captain’ that cares about the mission and nothing else. unfortunately, we also know that luther is the one sibling who spends the most time with reginald himself, not only that but he stays with him completely alone. it’s genuinely a miracle he recovers as quickly as he does, even considering his choices in the last episodes of season one. this guy really tried and then…. snapped. and imagine you’ve been told you’re personally responsible for your team siblings. regardless of what that means for the person who tells you, you take it as ‘keep them safe, make sure they’re okay’ and then you find out your sister not only has powers but she has used them to almost lethally injure your other sister. imagine the conflict. who do you protect? how to you keep the team safe when its attacking itself? i am not condoning locking vanya up, i think that was absolutely terrible but i’m just saying that people shouldn’t stop at ‘luther is in love with allison of course he immediately reacted that way’ cause i truly believe it’s not that at all. it’s about choices. it’s about the age-old story of a leader having to choose between two terrible things and letting the facts, what he knows, guide him. he sees vanya is distraught, but he also saw her handiwork almost kill their sister. he has been told the apocalypse is coming so he considers that too. he doesn’t know how vanya’s powers work or what happened, just the end result. the needs of the many vs the needs of the few/one. it’s not about loving one sister more than the other (although let’s not forget that he -along with the rest of his siblings- was taught to place vanya’s needs at the very bottom of their list of priorities, and they are adults now, yes, but they haven’t really had time to break their programming, so to speak, let’s remember they haven’t spoken in years), it’s about being face to face with an incredibly dangerous unknown and falling back to old habits. these people have all been taught to think with their head, to leave their heart at the door.

again, i genuinely don’t know where i’m going with this it’s just stream of consciousness at this point lmao i just have a lot of feelings and it’s all because we KNOW luther loves his siblings and wants to protect them and make sure they’re alright and specifically we know he also considers vanya’s feelings and what he does at the end of the first season is not bad just because it is what it is aka locking up your sister in literally her personal hell, the tragedy of it lies in the fact that it’s almost not even him making those choices. it’s reginald. what would dad do? (what did dad do?)

this is not me excusing anything it’s just me screaming into the void lmao okay, enough, idek where i wanna go with this i know i keep saying it but i truly don’t

just one last thing: and THAT’s why his first scene with her in season two is so important, because he goes there with a goddamn gun cause he still has reginald whispering in his ear until….. until he doesn’t anymore. until he just sees his sister, confused and slightly panicked & scared, and his instinct is to protect (let her be) and apologize.

**here we could go off on a tangent about the different ways luther and five feel this responsibility, how for luther it really is 100% -which means not only physically safe and unharmed but also emotionally- while five is much more focused on them being alive exclusively, which means it doesn’t matter if their feelings get bruised or battered along the way. it’s another incredibly fascinating thing but dear lord don’t let me ramble i’m already word vomiting on another thing, let’s scroll back up and finish a single thought yeah?

#a thing i keep coming back to is how #it really is the breaking point for him - locking vanya up - #and then he keeps going with it almost without thinking which #is why suggesting they do /everything/ they must to stop her is so easy #i mean he obviously cracked when he chocked klaus but i’m talking #about all the way through snap you know? #anyway i promise last time i’m talking about this lmao